My Musings: Adoption

Adoption is a topic I feel strongly about as you may have gathered and its presence in my life has found itself resurfaced. Some find the concept of adopting confronting or uncomfortable, but once eyes are opened: perceptions can be changed. I speak highly of parents who open their heart to the process of adopting for it is time-grueling, extremely stressful and exhausting. I know for a fact that my own parents have found it fulfiling in a way most may not understand. In a majority of cases, it is not a lack of love or bond between a parent and child that leads to the decision of adopting one’s child to another. Instead, it is almost always a result of a situation whether it be being too young, a lack of access to resources or being placed in a situation beyond one’s control.

The parents of these children are often not thought of. Once their baby is born, biological parents endure the struggle of having a close bond with their child severed rather abruptly. Adoptive parents experience the invasive and prolonged process of adopting which can eat away years. My own parents, both from families with six children, dreamed of having lots of kids. Because of the many years that it takes to adopt a child, having six children of their own was not a possibility.

For the children, experiences vary. It can’t be denied that some feel distant from their adoptive families, but so many children feel loved, adequate and completely at ease. In my own opinion, as an adopted child from South Korea, I have always felt that my family is my “real” family. I have felt no urge to find my biological family and no sense that something is missing from my life. It is very obvious that I am adopted; however I feel no fear in discussing my situation. I am proud of my roots, my Scottish parents and Australian brothers.



My brothers, myself and our little nephew and nieces

One of my brothers and my cousin have both had the mind-blowing opportunity to meet their biological parents. Seeing pictures makes these people a reality, makes them real, living and personable people. My brother is over the other side of the country meeting his original family at this very moment while just recently, my cousin had his father seek him out from the rest of the Australian population. I can’t tell you how it feels for them but I hope it is everything they could have hoped for. Perhaps it was the missing part in their life and now it may be satisfied. And, perhaps if I were to have the chance to meet those distant and almost unreal biological parents, I may also feel a connection. But, for now, I feel content.